Candy Matson Tribute

X

The Donna Dunham Case

SFX: Pickup telephone receiver

MATSON
Hello, Candy Matson.

MAN’S VOICE ON TELEPHONE
I understand you've been hired to find out who knocked off Dana Dunham.

MATSON
Abrupt and right to the point. That's my business old man who talks like a ghost.

MAN’S VOICE
Take care of your health, Little Lady. Donna Dunham is dead. Let her stay like that.

MATSON
You take care of your Q’s and I'll shell my P’s, understood?

MAN’S VOICE
Not quite. Listen to this . . .

SFX: Gunshot, breaking glass in window

MATSON
Oh, goody goody. Bullets now delivered by telephone. Thanks for the slug. I'll have it identified later.

MAN’S VOICE
Maybe you'll be identified later. Remember what I said Candy Matson. Forget about Donna Dunham.

MUSIC: Organ, Dramatic transition

MATSON
My name is Candy Matson. I like money, lots of it. That's why I became a private eye. And true, you meet such interesting people, mostly dead. But getting back to the cash angle, that's why I took on the Donna Dunham case: I knew it was full of dynamite. But, a girl has to eat now and then maintain a penthouse on Telegraph Hill and keep the moths out of a few mink coat, doesn't she? Sure. And a shot fired into your room from across the street at 3:00 in the morning is just one of those occupational hazards. So I took the job and the 500 [dollars] and went to work. Like to hear how the whole thing started? Well, leave us proceed to act one.

MUSIC: Organ, transition

SFX: Interior, hotel bar, music in background, conversations

MATSON
I had a hard day at the office . . . sleeping all day, and I needed a bit of a tonic to pick me up. So the natural thing to do is to ground loop into the Marigold Room and see what could be done. As I sat down under one of the padded stools, the dispenser approached. Make it a martini, My good man, very dry so dry it comes out like a blotter.

BARTENDER
Look lady, nothing would give me more pleasure, but I can't serve you here unless you have an escort.

MATSON
What? Oh, I’m, I’m, I’m waiting for someone.

BARTENDER
That’s what they say.

MATSON
But he’ll be here very soon.

BARTENDER
I know. I know it never fails.

MATSON
Why you low minded frog, for two cents . . .

WARREN ROBERTS
(Stepping on Matson’s line) I see I have arrived just in time. Save your two cents my dear.

MATSON
Hmmm?

ROBERTS
(To Bartender) You heard what the lady said, a martini. Make it two.

BARTENDER
(Sarcastically) Yeah, sure . . . I thought it was just another one of those . . . Yeah. Two martinis.

ROBERTS
Well, saved from a fate worse than death, Miss Matson.

MATSON
Who are you?

ROBERTS
A natural question.

MATSON
And I’d like a natural answer.

ROBERTS
Roberts is my name. Warren Roberts. I own a few steamships hither and yon about the world.

MATSON
Oh yes, I know. I took a trip on one of your scows once. The food was a nightmare’s nightmare.

ROBERTS
How do you think I came to be a millionaire?

MATSON
Uh-Huh. I see your point. How did you know my name and what do you want?

ROBERTS
I have a business proposition to make to you, Miss Madsen.

MATSON
You're sure it's business, Mr. Roberts.

ROBERTS
Strictly business, Miss Matson.

MATSON
Call me Candy. You tell me the details and I'll tell you what it'll cost you.

ROBERTS
Fair enough.

MATSON
But don’t think you can always make it back on your food.

ROBERTS
Well, I can hardly tell you here. Suppose we drop over to my place.

MATSON
But I want that martini.

ROBERTS
My man will make us a batch over there.

MATSON
The things I do to make a living. Okay, let’s go.

BARTENDER
Hey, how about these drinks?

ROBERTS
Here you are my man, and save the martinis for some poor, wayward soul who hasn't the wherewithal to make the purchase.

MUSIC: Organ, transition

SFX: Door opening.

MONTGOMERY
Oh, good evening, Mr. Roberts. Ah, I didn't know you were expecting company so soon after . . .

ROBERTS
(Stepping on Montgomery’s line) Take Miss Matson’s things Montgomery and bring us a martini.

MONTGOMERY
They’re all made, sir.

ROBERTS
Good. Let’s go into the drawing room, shall we?

MATSON
Um, hummmm. Modest little mousetrap, isn't it? And I'll bet it's had a good path beaten to its door too.

ROBERTS
(Subtle laugh) Quite a sense of humor you have Candy.

MATSON
Well, it helps now and then.

ROBERTS
Here. Sit down here. That’s it.

MATSON
I, uh, I can’t quite see you, ah, it’s like being behind a retaining wall. Oh well, I’ll just listen. What’s the topic of conversation.

ROBERTS
A young lady named Donna Dunham.

MATSON
Ah, ha, the female element. What . . . is your connection?

ROBERTS
Well . . . It’s strictly that of a patron.

MATSON
Oh . . . ?

ROBERTS
Miss Dunham was a hat check girl over at the Scarlet Dawn. I heard her sing one night. I decided right then and there that I was going to sponsor her career.

MATSON
Was . . .?

ROBERTS
Yes. . . Donna Dunham was murdered early this morning.

MATSON
By you?

ROBERTS
What? Are you out of your head?

MATSON
Yes, when I think of the fee I'm going to get from you.

MONTGOMERY
I beg your pardon, sir. The martinis.

ROBERTS
What? Oh, oh yes. Put them down there, Montgomery.

MONTGOMERY
Very good, sir.

ROBERTS
Very good, Montgomery. I won’t need anything else tonight.

MONTGOMERY
Thank you, sir. Good night, miss.

MATSON
Good night. (Imploring, perhaps for her personal safety) Ah, don’t sleep too tight.

ROBERTS
May I?

MATSON
You certainly may. I have been waiting far too long for one of these.

ROBERTS
There you are.

MATSON
Mm . . . hmm. Thanks. Well, as a sponsor you didn’t pick a protege with great lasting qualities, did you?

ROBERTS
No, I didn’t. (Introspective, as if talking to himself) She was so young. So very lovely. (To Matson) Will you take the case Miss Matson?

MATSON
What do I have to go on?

ROBERTS
Well . . . very little. My suspicions point to a musician who worked at the Scarlet Dawn. He seemed to resent very strongly my stepping into the picture.

MATSON
Were they going together?

ROBERTS
Off and on . . . until I started to back down his career.

MATSON
A very interesting triangle. What did the police have to say?

ROBERTS
The police, Miss Matson, have not yet been notified. When I went over there this morning I discovered the body lying on the floor. I became confused. I locked the door and called The Scarlet Dawn. I told the manager that Miss Dunham was quite ill and wouldn't be able to appear tonight.

MATSON
Extremely ill, I’d say. Well . . . this is fine. You realize you are in trouble, don’t you?

ROBERTS
Yes, I do.

MATSON
And that if I take this case, I'm sticking my neck out too?

ROBERTS
Exactly.

MATSON
My fee is five hundred.

ROBERTS
That’s a fair price.

MATSON
(With emphasis) In advance . . .

ROBERTS
Well, I’ll make out a check immediately. (PAUSE) Oh! Won’t you have another martini?

MATSON
I . . . ah . . . I don’t think so.

ROBERTS
(Very sauve) You know . . . you ARE very beautiful.

MATSON
(Sighs) Thank you, but I already have a sponsor.

ROBERTS
And your lips are very kissable.

MATSON
The best you can buy from Max Factor.

ROBERTS
Are you sure you don’t want another martini?

MATSON
Look, Roberts, let's get this straight. You're in the middle of a jackpot. Make that check out right now so I can join you. Then it’s up to me to spring the both of us. In the meantime, heh . . . get that glint out of your eye, the one that’s wired for wolf calls. Understood?

ROBERTS
(Sighs) Very well.

MATSON
I’ll get started right away. Where does the late Miss Dunham live?

ROBERTS
Just on the edge of Chinatown. 27 B Gresham Alley. It’s the only three flat house on the block.

MATSON
I'll find it. And you . . . You just stick right here and don't poke your face out of the door. (SEDUCTIVELY) Now . . . the check . . . if you will.

MUSIC: Organ, transition

SFX: Footsteps, followed by others. When the first stops, so does the second.

MATSON
Now listen you. If you think you’re going to get . . . Well . . . send me back to the last line in the chorus if it isn’t Old Hawkshaw himself.

Ray MALLARD
Yeah . . . that’s right. Hire a cabbie?

MATSON
Now how you ever got to be a police detective I’ll never know. I heard you trailing me for the last two blocks.

MALLARD
Maybe I wanted you to hear me. What are you doing over in Chinatown, Candy?

MATSON
I like tomato chow yut.

MALLARD
(Disbelieving) Ah, huh! Something up?

MATSON
Not with you around, there isn’t.

MALLARD
Look, Candy. Just a little word of caution . . . we’re laying for you.

MATSON
Oh?

MALLARD
The Chief isn’t very happy about you bustin’ up that Newton case last month.

MATSON
Somebody had to. The score was still tied in the 27th inning.

MALLARD
Stop gagin’ Candy. What you doing around here? You don’t like tomato chow yut that much.

MATSON
Well maybe that Oriental music sends me. By the way, where’s the Scarlet Dawn Mallard?

MALLARD
Huh? Well, right down there on the corner.

MATSON
Come on, I’ll buy ya a double mickey.

MALLARD
Eh? Ah, no thanks. I just had one. Listen Candy, take a tip . . . don’t interfere with the work of the police.

MATSON
Don’t worry about me, Mallard. And you take a trip too. Next time you trail somebody, get yourself a pair of tennis shoes.

MUSIC: Organ, transition

Oriental WAITER: Yes, miss. You like a table?

MATSON
No thanks. Ah . . . No.

WAITER
Something I can do?

MATSON
Hmmm? Oh, oh yes, I’m . . . I’m a friend of Donna Dunham. She wanted me to come over and tell you that she’s feeling better. She’ll be back at work tomorrow night.

WAITER
Well, that’s good. Business at the Hat Check Stand no good without her.

MATSON
Yeah. Yes, she's a great girl. By the way, I, I don't see her boyfriend tonight.

WAITER
Boyfriend?

MATSON
You know, the fellow who plays in the band.

WAITER
Oh. . . . Danny Andrene. No . . . he got night off.

MATSON
Oh . . . too bad. She wanted me to tell him too.

WAITER
Yup. Too bad. Oh . . . maybe you find him at the Lotus Hotel. He live there.

MATSON
Oh, sure! The Lotus. Yes, I'll check there and thank you very much.

MUSIC: Organ, transition

SFX: Telephone ringing

Rembrandt WATSON
Rembrandt Watson speaking . . .

MATSON
(Interrupting Watson) Yes, I know. Now look . . .

WATSON
(Continuing his thought) . . . photographs taken at reasonable prices

MATSON
(Continuing her thought) . . . I know Rembrandt . . .

WATSON
(Continuing his thought) . . . family groups and portraits especially, also . . .

MATSON
(More insistent) . . . Rembrandt . . . this is I, Candy Matson . . .

WATSON
(Continuing) . . . fine colored pictures . . . (awareness) What? Candy Matson?

MATSON
That’s right.

WATSON
By all the furies of Zeus. Why did you have to call just now? I was wooing the muse that only Bacchus can create, probing the infinitesimal heights a soul can reach from the tier of the grape and you have to call and spoil it all.

MATSON
Look, Rembrandt, uncross your eyes and listen to me.

WATSON
I shall listen my lily but undoubtedly, I won't like it. What skullduggery, are you up to now?

MATSON
I'm knee deep in something that smells as high as the open mudflat.

WATSON
A towering comparison. What is it?

MATSON
I can't tell you now, but I want you to do me a favor. Get your finest camera and go over to 27 B Gresham Alley. Get inside and take all the pictures you can at the place.

WATSON
Won’t I be intruding?

MATSON
No. There’s a very attractive young lady there.

WATSON
Ahhhh . . . delightful

MATSON
(Cutting him off) She’s dead.

WATSON
How dull! I dislike intensely one sided conversation? (Resignedly) All right. What do I do then?

MATSON
Go back to your place and get me some prints fast as you can.

WATSON
I go, but not willingly Only for you would I forsake the mood I have achieved the prodigious application.

MATSON
Bully for you laddie buck. I'll see you at your place in about an hour.

MUSIC: Organ, transition

MATSON
Pardon me. Are you the night clerk?

CLERK
I ain’t Sittin’ Bull and yes, we have no rooms. f MATSON
(Seductively) I’m not here for a room . . .

CLERK
(Now interested) Oh . . .well, maybe there's something I can do for you?

MATSON
Ahhh . . . yes, could you tell me if Mr. Danny Andrene is in?

CLERK
No he isn’t. Matter of fact, I haven't seen him all day.

MATSON
Ahhh . . . yes, I, I know. There's a reason. We had to take him to the hospital this morning.

CLERK
What?

MATSON
Yes. He's under observation for appendicitis.

CLERK
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

MATSON
So . . . I was wondering if you’d let me have his key. He wants me to bring him his portable radio.

CLERK
Eh, heh . . . Does he have one?

MATSON
Why sir, ever heard of a musician who didn’t own a portable radio?

CLERK
(Chuckles) I know . . . come to think of it. Yeah, yeah. Here's the key. It’s room 418.

MATSON
You’re very kind.

CLERK
Not at all. (Chuckles, then emphasizing each word) Not. At. All.

MUSIC: Organ, transition

SFX: Door opening, footsteps into hotel room.

MATSON
All right Candy Matson, start making like a private eye. Letters. Letters. Yes! Over here.

SFX: Drawer opening

MATSON
Promising! A whole pile of 'em. Well . . . Let’s try this one.

(Whistles, then reading from letter)

"Dear Danny . . . I don't know how to start this, but your accusations last night need some sort of answering. I'm not in love with Warren Roberts and never will be. He has proven to be a very kind and gracious friend. You must realize that I have placed my singing career above everything else and I want . . . SFX: Rapid knocking at door. Again.

MATSON
Well . . . leave us confront the issue Candy . . .

SFX: Door opening

MATSON
(Sighing) Ahhh . . . Oh, hello, you.

CLERK
(Trying to act save) Hello. I was wondering if I could be of any assistance.

MATSON
No . . . it seems that Mr. Andrene was was either seeing . . . I mean it doesn’t seem to have a portable radio. I’ll be on my way now.

CLERK
Oh.

MATSON
I’ll . . . ah . . . I’ll just be on my way.

CLERK
Ah, now. What’s the rush? You don’t have to leave right away. (Insinuating) Wouldn’t you like a drink . . . or something?

MATSON
Ah . . . No, not right now. I am pressed for time . . .

CLERK
(Disappointed) Ahhhhh . . .

MATSON
(Whispering, conspiratorial) Tell you what though . . .

CLERK
Eh . . .?

MATSON
(Still whispering) I’ll be back later. How’s that?

CLERK
(Whispering) Sure. Fine. When?

MATSON
(Speaking aloud) Let’s make it next wishing time. Goodbye.

MUSIC: Organ, transition

SFX: Rapid and urgent knocking on a door

REMBRANDT WATSON
On my soul, I'd like to have that popcorn concession here tonight. Come in . . . come in . . .

SFX: Door opening

MATSON
Rembrandt, you’re a double crosser

WATSON
I double crosser my dear?

MATSON
Yes.

WATSON
You are mistaken.

MATSON
Oh.

WATSON
The only time I double crossed was out in the country. I passed over a bridge, then I had to double cross back.

MATSON
Oh no.

WATSON
I found I left my knapsack with some rare vintage in it on the other side.

MATSON
What are you doing here? You haven't had time to get the pictures I wanted.

WATSON
That’s just the point. To elucidate I arrived at 27 B Gresham Alley and found it to be a most loathsome location.

MATSON
That’s beside the point. What happened?

WATSON
I couldn’t get in.

MATSON
Oh, Rembrandt . . . I . . . I’ve done you a grave injustice. Of course you couldn’t get in. Warren Roberts has the key.

WATSON
Who’s this minion Roberts?

MATSON
I’ll tell you later. We’ve gotta work fast. Mallard says something in the wrong key and the police will be in on the deal before long.

WATSON
Mallard the gumshoe?

MATSON
That’s right. I’ve just got to get pictures of the layout so I can study them.

WATSON
In my own fumbling fashion Candy my love I’ve given birth to an idea.

MATSON
Even from you, Rembrandt, I’ll take it. I’m grabbing at straws.

WATSON
Straws. Very effective with a tall cool Collins.

MATSON
Never mind now. What’s your idea?

WATSON
Let us high ourselves to a locksmith, present ourselves as man and wife, and the peasant will make us a key. Viola! Entre to the meteries apartment.

MATSON
No, Rembrandt. That’ll never work. Oh, wait a minute. Three flats to the house. I used to live in just that kind of a house that out on Fulton Street when I was a kid.

WATSON
A nauseating thought.

MATSON
Rembrandt, those flats are identical. If we can get into the flat above, we can get what we want.

WATSON
I think I fathom your reasoning, Candy. In other words, the living room is just the same.

MATSON
That’s right.

WATSON
The dining room likewise and the same goes for the bedroom, the kitchen, and even the . . .

MATSON
That's right. Even in there.

WATSON
Well, what are we waiting for. Let’s go slumming in Gresham Alley.

MUSIC: Transition, organ

MATSON
Go ahead Rembrandt. Ring the bell.

WATSON Always I must do the labor.

MATSON
Oh, pooh. . .

WATSON
Well, I hope we don’t disturb the dead in the middle flat.

MATSON
You won't. From what I hear, he was done in sort of permanently.

WATSON
Hhmmm . . . It appears there is no one home. Come on Candy, let’s return and see what Bacchus has to offer.

MATSON
Wait! I thought I heard something.

SFX: Door buzzer.

MATSON
There! You see? Got all your flashbulbs?

WATSON
As they say in the old country: "Have I lost my marbles?" Open the door.

SFX: Door opens with a click from the automated locking mechanism.

WATSON
Beauty before age my dear.

MATSON
Thank you, Rembrandt.

SFX: Footsteps climbing stairs

MATSON
Hmmm . . . It’s kinda dark in here.

WATSON
Peculiar aroma. Definitely smacks of the Far East.

SFX: Door opens above, higher up the staircase.

MATSON
Yes . . s . .s . . .

Danny ANDRENE
(From landing of flat above) Something you folks wanted?

WATSON
Talk up, Candy. That’s your cue.

MATSON
Why . . . ah . . . yes . . . Yes. May we come up?

ANDRENE
Whata you want?

MATSON
Well . . . we’re with a magazine . . . The House Lovely. We wanna take a few photographs of your place.

ANDRENE
(Disbelieving) At this hour?

WATSON
The working press is never shackled by the hands on the clock, sir.

ANDRENE
Sounds phony to me but come on up.

SFX: Footsteps entering room.

ANDRENE
(Now in same space as Matson and Watson) What do you want to take pictures of this beat up joint for?

MATSON
Well . . . you see . . . it’s comparison . . . the old and the new. We’ve already taken pictures of a flat similar to this only it’s been remodeled. This . . . well . . . this is perfect for the content.

ANDRENE
Ummm . . . well, I . . . ah . . . guess it’s alright. Go ahead.

MATSON
Ah . . . start with the hall Rembrandt.

WATSON
Roger my pretty. Let’s see . . . this should be just about right.

SFX: Click of camera shutter

MATSON
Um hmm. Now the bedroom. That should be off the hall here. Ah, yes! Shoot from the door Rembrandt.

SFX: Click of camera shutter

MATSON
Did you get the entire room?

WATSON
Not quite, but most of it.

MATSON
That’ll do.

WATSON
Just a moment.

SFX: Click of camera shutter

WATSON
Ah . . . there we are.

ANDRENE
You cats work fast.

MATSON
Ahhh . . . What was that?

ANDRENE
I said you work fast.

MATSON
Yes . . . Now, in the bathroom . . . do you have a tab or a shower?

ANDRENE
(Sinister) Why . . . Why don’t you see for yourself?

MATSON
No. On second thought, I think that's about all we need.

WATSON
But Candy . . . you said that we need . . .

MATSON
(Cutting him off) Come along Rembrandt . . . and, umm . . . Thank you very much.

ANDRENE
That’s okay. And don’t slam the door. The lady downstairs is sound asleep.

MUSIC: Transition, organ

SFX: Footsteps of Matson and Watson

MATSON
Rembrandt . . . I think I’ve got this thing licked.

WATSON
Are you referring to this case or my desire to return to the arms of Bacchus?

MATSON
That I could never lick. I’m talking about the case. But . . . I need help Rembrandt.

WATSON
I am here.

MATSON
No, that's not enough. I need the big, strong arm of the law.

WATSON
Oh . . . No . . . Candy you traitor . . .

MATSON
(Cutting him off) I hate to admit it but . . . I need somebody like Mallard.

MALLARD
Am I being paged?

MATSON
Huh . . . Oh, no . . . it’s the wicked genie.

WATSON
Yikes! It’s the gumshoe.

MALLARD
Yep! In person.

MATSON
Mallard . . . how did you get here?

MALLARD
I took your advice and bought some tennis shoes.

MATSON
(Short chuckle)

MALLARD
All right . . . spill. What goes on? Been following you around until I’m punchy. Start talking Candy.

MATSON
Okay . . . so you heard me. I DO need your help, Mallard . . . badly. It was a young girl murdered yesterday at 27 B Gresham Alley.

MALLARD
That the place you just came from?

MATSON
That’s right.

MALLARD
Why don’t we ever hear of these things?

MATSON
Oh . . . I get exclusive rights. Anyway . . . I think I have the whole deal figured out. You can take full credit Mallard but . . . you’ve got to take my advice.

MALLARD
Ehh . . h . . h . . . It hurts but go ahead.

MATSON
Now go back to 27 C Gresham Alley. That’s the top flat.

MALLARD
Um . . hum . . .

MATSON
You’ll find a character there named Danny Andrene.

MALLARD
Ah . . h . . h

MATSON
Take him. Then get out to 5711 Pacific as fast as you can.

MALLARD
Well . . . all right, I’ll do it. But Candy so help me if this is a foul up . . . on you the new look with stripes is gonna be very fashionable.

WATSON
She knows what’s she’s doing Mallard. When you get back to Gresham Alley just tell Mr. Andrene that you are from House Lovely . . .

MATSON
(Short laugh)

WATSON
He’ll adore you.

MUSIC: Transition, organ

MATSON
This is it, Rembrandt. I just hope my man Montgomery hasn’t retired yet.

SFX: Door buzzer

WATSON
What are we doing out here on Pacific, Candy? This is out of our league.

MATSON
All of a sudden I’ve become socially conscious. Come on Montgomery . . . answer the door.

SFX: Door opening

MATSON
Ahhh . . . right on cue.

MONTGOMERY
(Obsequious) I beg your pardon. Did you ring?

MATSON
No, Montgomery . . . We . . . we crossed the moat and used a battering ram.

MONTGOMERY
I’m sorry young lady . . . Mr. Roberts doesn’t wish to be disturbed.

MATSON
Look Montgomery . . . remember me? I was here earlier this evening. Mr. Roberts and I had a martini together.

WATSON
Martinis? Well . . . it was worth the safari out here after all.

MATSON
Ah . . . Ha.

MONTGOMERY
(Suddenly more friendly) Oh, I am sorry miss. I didn’t recognize you at first. Yes, do come in won’t you?

MATSON
And the light dawns . . .

MONTGOMERY
If you’ll just wait in the drawing room miss. I’ll inform Mr. Roberts of your presence.

MATSON
I used to know a chap like that in the British Army. By continual groveling and studied objectiveness, he worked his way up to the rank of a private.

WATSON
(Short laugh)

MATSON
Thanks, Rembrandt. That’s the first laugh I’ve had tonight.

WATSON
What’s the pitch, Candy? I don’t get it.

MATSON
You will in a minute . . . Ah shhh? I hear the patter of little feet.

ROBERTS
Miss Matson! What’s the idea. I thought you were going to check with me by phone.

MATSON
Mr. Roberts, this thing is bigger than either of us. I just couldn’t wait.

WATSON
(Clears throat) Ah . . . Is there a martini in the house?

ROBERTS
I’ll have Montgomery serve in just a moment.

MATSON
I don’t think there’ll be time, Mr. Roberts. Well . . . where is she?

ROBERTS
Upstairs.

MATSON
You really loved her didn’t you?

ROBERTS
Madly.

MATSON
That just about describes it . . . madly. While you were . . . umm . . . shall we say "sponsoring her career" . . . you thought she was playing around with Danny Andrene as well . . .

ROBERTS
(Interrupting) Yes! She was . . .

MATSON
(Interrupting) You’re wrong, Roberts. I have a letter from Donna Dunham to Danny Andrene. In effect she told him to blow, skedaddle, vamoose.

ROBERTS
What?

MATSON
That’s right. So it seems we have a slight case of mistaken murder on our hands doesn’t it.

ROBERTS
Yes. On one hand. On the other I have two in mind that will be deliberate. You asked for it Miss Matson. Too bad you had to bring your friend along.

MATSON
I wouldn’t if I were you Roberts.

WATSON
That blackguard has a pistol. I thought you said he served martinis.

ROBERTS
This isn’t exactly a social moment. I know how you private eyes work. You’re lone wolves. You confide in no one. So with the pull of a finger I erase all evidence, just like this.

SFX: Two gunshots

ROBERTS
(Groans as he is shot)

(PAUSE)

MATSON
He’s dead. I’m really grateful to you but where on Earth did you come from?

MALLARD
Like I say, Candy, you just can't beat these tennis shoes.

WATSON
Well . . . that clears everything up except for one thing . . . where do we go now for the martinis?

MUSIC: Transition, organ

MATSON
And that’s how it happened. My phone rings and I’m into the darnedest mess you ever heard of. Sure, Roberts killed her. He was jealous. And I knew I was on the right track when Rembrandt said the apartment above Donna Dunham smelled like the Far East. It was tobacco oder. The same Turkish aroma I had smelled in Robert’s home out on Pacific Street. Danny Andrene? Well, he was waiting for Roberts to return. He was going to kill him. He knew that Roberts had rented the flat above Dunham for . . . ahhh . . . sponsoring purposes. Donna was a nice kid. She was just caught in the middle . . . flat.

X

Candy's Last Case

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